Sunday, March 25, 2012
A Turn of Events
This week has been one of great highs and even lower lows.
Today was a low.
I know it's Sunday, and aren't we all supposed to be happy on Sunday? We're supposed to go to church and sing our songs and feel close to God.
Well, I had no problem being close with God, in fact I prayed quite fervently BEFORE church. But I was praying for all the frustration inside to be taken away.
I was overloaded with frustration. Frustration at someone who let me down AGAIN. Frustration that my new job wasn't going quite how I planned. (It is MUCH harder than I expected it would be...), and frustration that I am running out of time in the day, (and in the weekend), and my house cleaning, blog posting, and general happiness are falling behind.
So, needless to say, I felt as if I was overflowing and ready to explode.
Tears ran down my face during church. I felt humbled before God, and knew he kept telling me to "let it go."
It's hard, though, isn't it, to cut through the crap sometimes.
After church we went to a bridal shower for one of my cousins who I feel close to, and who is so great with my kids. He actually calls them on the phone to come over and play video games with him. In their eyes, he rocks. We had a good time at the shower, and there was good food, of course, but I was still holding on to some of that stinkin' frustration.
Then we went home. It was a gorgeous day today...sunny and warm.
I put on shorts and took a walk around the perimeter of my house, looking at the flower beds I STILL had not weeded, even though last week was in the 80's all week.
I knew in the back of my head it was Sunday, and you DON'T work on Sundays. They are a day of rest. But you see, even though weeding my flower beds IS work, it's also a great "cure" for what ails me sometimes.
I got to work. I got my gardening gloves on, got my hand cultivator, and a small spade shovel. I beat those weeds into submission, and all the while, my frustration at all those "tiny things" slowly dissipated. I felt rejuvenated, and close to God with my hands in the dirt.
I got alot done, and I only have a little more left to do on Spring Break in a week.
It felt GOOD.