Friends

I fell asleep last night on the couch, only to wake up this morning at 5:45 when Brent left for work.

He's the boss this week, and had to get things done.

I went back to bed, but couldn't go to sleep.

I read for awhile, and then closed my eyes, and had the STRANGEST dream.

It was about my high school best friends.

(this is NOT me and my best friends...just a picture of friends.)

We were once inseparable.  We had a love/hate relationship since kindergarten.  There were days we would HATE each other, (and fight), but we always patched it up again. 

Let me just preface here by saying, I have probably been a very bad friend over the years to my high school best friends because I haven't kept in touch.

It's probably been my fault.  But maybe not.  Maybe we just grew apart.

You see, we went to different colleges, but when we were home for the summer, we did hang out...but we'd already started finding different friends, friends who might become our "adult" best friends.

One of my friends got married first...to her high school boyfriend.

I got married next, and had the first child.

Then my 2nd best friend got married.

We moved to different towns, and our kids started growing up.

We started becoming friends with the parents of our kid's friends.

In the dream, I was talking to a guy friend we were all friends with.  We were back together at a school function after YEARS of being apart.  I was asking him questions and one of my best friends said, "Well, you just don't KNOW him anymore...WHERE have you been?"

In the dream I felt CRUSHED.  In real life, after waking up, I felt CRUSHED too.

Have I really been that bad of a friend?

I've talked to one of my best friends over the years, but not the other.  I blame it on schedules, different towns, etc.  Probably not good enough of an excuse.

This past summer I missed my 20th high school reunion.  It was my parent's 40th anniversary party and my sister was here from out of state, and we were taking family pictures together.

I had mixed feelings about missing it.

I keep in touch with the friends from high school who live around here, and who I still have things in common with.  Our paths cross when they cross.

I have lots of other friends, though.  Friends I went to college with, friends from church and work, and friends who are parents of my kids' friends.

Is that so bad?

I can't help but feel guilty about it.

I LOVE my children's friends.  They've had them since they first started school, and they are good kids, with great parents to match.

I HATE to burst their bubbles and tell them they may not still have these friends when they are my age.

So I won't tell them that, but secretly, I hope they DO still have these friends.

Tell me, am I wrong?  Do you still have your close high school friends?